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Friday, April 1, 2011

Another Type of Contest

After some self doubt and internal debating, I have decided to throw my hat into another type of contest. Shelley Watters has teamed up with the magnificent agent Suzie Townsend of Fine Print Literary Management to present an Epic follower/Blogfest Contest. The winner of the contest receives a FULL MANUSCRIPT REQUEST from Suzie. That's a big deal!

I'll need your help with my entry. I'm allowed 140 characters to pitch my novel, On Fallen Wings, to the agent. Every word, every character, every space is valuable and could doom my entry or help it soar. I'll post my initial thought below and it's your job/duty/pleasure to tear it apart and tell me what you think. Here it is:

When her boyfriend disappears, a Faerie's search for answers forces her to choose between the life she loves and the life he could lose.

Revision 9:40

I love all of the feedback. Give me more! Many of you have asked that I incorporate names into the pitch. I agree; I think the names of the characters add value to the pitch. The dilemma is the 140 character limit. The next version doesn't have names. Let me know what you think. Here's the latest:

When a Faerie's boyfriend is kidnapped, her quest to save him forces her to choose between betraying her village and watching him die.

Something else. 10:40 pm

I'm putting in the name! Let me know how this works:

When Rhiannon's boyfriend is kidnapped, her quest to save him forces her to choose between the Faerie life she loves and losing him forever.



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18 comments:

  1. UnknownApril 1, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    I like this, but I'm curious why he disappears? And what life could he lose?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lori M. LeeApril 1, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    I love anything to do with faeries, but I'm confused. Who is the faerie? Her or the boyfriend?

    ReplyDelete
  3. BethApril 1, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    OMG! Love it! I would so read this.
    bethfred.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kimberlee TurleyApril 1, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    Always a fan of fairy stories, but what makes this unique? And what exactly is the life she loves and the life she'll lose?

    Like:

    When X's boyfriend is kidnapped by trolls, she must venture out of the safety of the fairy realm to save him. Or lose her crown in the fairy court in order to go looking for him etc...

    ReplyDelete
  5. brandileigh2003April 1, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    I'd like to know why he disappeared and why his life is at risk.

    Brandi Kosiner

    ReplyDelete
  6. juneApril 1, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    I’m assuming Faerie is trying to encourage her ‘human’ boyfriend to cross into her special world – one where he will never be able to return to the life he was born into. I want to read the whole story.

    Perhaps write it with boyfriend's name...

    When [boyfriend’s name] disappears, a Faerie’s search for answers forces her to choose between the life she loves and the life [boyfriend’s name] could lose.

    ReplyDelete
  7. douglas esperApril 1, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    take it as a compliment that people want more details and i am one of them! i would like to know the faeries name though

    ReplyDelete
  8. KaleenApril 1, 2011 at 4:56 PM

    Is this the Faerie's boyfriend? As in:
    When a Faerie's boyfriend dissapears, her search for answers forces a choice between the life she loves and the life he could lose.

    Best of luck!

    ReplyDelete
  9. J E FritzApril 1, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    The idea sounds interesting! I'd like to know what her name is and a little bit about why she has to choose. Did something take her boyfriend?

    I'd definitely like to read more about it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Crystal CollierApril 1, 2011 at 7:17 PM

    Very intriguing. Strong conflict. Cery well done.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Touch of InkApril 1, 2011 at 9:17 PM

    It works. You have the MC, the problem, and the stakes. Good job :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Jamie McHenryApril 1, 2011 at 9:32 PM

    These are all fantastic suggestions! Thank you. I'm going to do my best to incorporate a bit of all of them. I'll update the post with my newest "revision". Keep the feedback/critiques coming.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jamie CorriganApril 1, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    I really like it! The only thing I want to know is her name. With the character limit I understand though. Great job! Good luck in the contest!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. UnknownApril 2, 2011 at 6:24 AM

    I liked the last one best.

    ReplyDelete
  15. blankenship.louiseApril 2, 2011 at 7:25 AM

    Hello! I agree with the others - #3 sounds polished and it's got everything you need.

    ReplyDelete
  16. fOIS In The CityApril 2, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    I love faire stories also. You could have also used "the fae" life ... Good conflict. Makes me want more and isn't that the purpose. Good luck :)

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  17. Julie DainesApril 2, 2011 at 11:20 PM

    Faerie and romance--what could be better. Great pitch and sounds like you've got a wonderful story.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jamie McHenryApril 3, 2011 at 12:12 AM

    Everyone was wonderful. Thanks for the comments. Good luck to you all who are entering the contest. I just uploaded my entry. It's been fun!

    ReplyDelete

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