I see the mirror glass, but it’s not my room on the other side; there’s rampant, swirling fog. And her. This must be the dream. I’ve been here before. The same eyes, the flaming hair, her voice calls the same angelic words as before. But I don’t know them. Are they a warning, or a blessing?
“Cursum Perficio,” she says.
My heart pounds its response and I catch myself not breathing. It’s impossible not to oscitate—I’m transfixed.
“Cursom Perficio.”
I mouth the words with her. Who is she? What is the meaning of this synchronicity? As I ponder, she beckons to me. The fog changes from gray to crimson in a brilliant miasma of warning while her words envelop the space.
“Cursum Perficio.”
I lean close and draw a breath. Then I reach to touch the glass, to break the lacuna between my wanting and her.
“Please,” I whisper. “This is perfect.”
“Cursum—”
I interrupt. “Please.”
Brilliant light blinds my vision, forcing me back. I collapse on the bed and close my eyes. I sleep. When I awake, the dream is gone. I am alone again.
If you enjoyed my 200 word blog entry, please like it here.
Jamie,
ReplyDeleteNormally I wouldn't be fond of a "dream" story, but this one is a bit different and presented in an entirely unorthodox fashion, which I like. I'm transfixed by your language and your word-choice. A fantastic little story!
- Rance
I'm having one of those "freaking out" moments because Rance is the name of a character in my books. Thanks for stopping by and commenting-it made my day.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, folks, my post was inspired by a short film I made during Drama Class in High School. I'm number 16 on the list if you like it. ~ Jamie
Hi Jamie.
ReplyDeleteI'm a sucker for a good dream. One of those ones that's so real you can almost taste it.
It's great to see so many different stories coming out of this challenge. Great use of words.
K.T.
Ok, so I'm drawn to your name (I'm Jamie too....just a girl Jamie!)
ReplyDelete2nd, this is stylistically written. A dream is ever brief and you've summed it up quite nicely in such a short piece.
Thanks for sharing!
Love the desperation of the dreamer in this entry! The line..."Please...This is so perfect - " nailed it for me. ~ Nadja
ReplyDeleteI'm with Nadja. This was so well written and definitely enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI'm #8 if you care to step away from this beautiful dream for just a heartbeat.
You've done it again, Jamie! Beautiful description, and lots of feeling captured in a small amount of words. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and I love fairies! ; )
ReplyDeleteReally well done. The words don't seem so randomly tossed in as in some! Mine is #29
ReplyDeleteWow, loved it, was holding my breath as I read (not sure why!).
ReplyDeleteYour prose had me transfixed. I am very curious about the words she is saying. And what they mean. Good way to make "the dream" interesting.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Jamie! :)
I like this -- definitely more questions than answers, which is always a good thing! And great work getting the challenge words in seamlessly!
ReplyDeleteVery pretty descriptions! And you use the words well!
ReplyDeleteEveryone is so nice. Thank you. I'm home from work now and will visit your posts throughout the evening. Here's a hint about "Cursum Perficio." It's an Enya song.
ReplyDeleteGreat use of challenge words! You have me convinced that you use them on a regular basis - even oscitate!
ReplyDeleteVery well done.
Wonderful imagery, Jamie. I so wanted the dreamer to reach through the mirror and touch her.
ReplyDeleteI love this dream sequence. It left me with questions about what's going to happen next and what the dream really means to the MC.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this one and wonderful use of the challenge.
ReplyDeleteI did like it...a lot!
ReplyDeleteI'm stopping by out of order because you commented on mine. This is really a perfect mood piece, thick with desire and fear. I felt it would be bad if he touched her, so I had to look up the words. Definitely worse than waking up alone, and adds depth. I love layered stories. Great job!
ReplyDeleteJamie, it isn't easy to write a piece where these words truly fit the vocabulary of the voice, but you managed it. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI was transfixed. Your use of the words just flowed with the story. Well written!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm trying to figure out how to follow your blog...but I can't! Is there some trick I'm not finding?
ReplyDeleteCortney, I'm not sure what's going on. The blog traffic today has been HUGE. There should be a "follow" button on the top right of the page, but I'm not able to see it on the computer I'm on right now. I'll see what I can discover and then contact you later. Thanks for visiting.
ReplyDelete~ Jamie
Wow, the dream seemed so real. What is cursum perficio? I'll have to go look it up. Nice job! I'm #34 and a new follower!
ReplyDeleteFor me the sign of a good short piece is when I'm still thinking about it afterwards. I am with this one.
ReplyDeleteJust to add, sometimes if the follow button is missing, pressing F5 a couple of times will bring it back.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah, that's good info to know. Blogger has been strange to me today. I couldn't post on anyone's blog, including mine, until I changed computers. Fantastic comments. This was a hard challenge, so you all are boosting my ego.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. I love the fairy tale feeling and the mystery of it all. Well done!
ReplyDeleteHow haunting! Good job.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful piece of flash fiction! I love how you seamlessly integrated the words. They didn't see "forced" if you know what I mean. Loved it. I'm also following your blog now.
ReplyDeleteNice very mysterious... and you had to rat yourself out that it was an enya song? the dream thing works for me because i feel like its a premonition sort of thing. Anyway, great piece.
ReplyDeleteGreat job. I really enjoyed your story. I am #92. thanks
ReplyDeleteNicely done!
ReplyDeleteAnd I love Enya...*hums* sail away, sail away..
I like the style and the narrative gimmick. Well done.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteBeautifully atmospheric and moi smells lust on the ether. Maybe the mirror will one day draw him through to the wondrous allure within! Of course it might be a case of passionate hell. But hey, burn baby burn is preferable to wings and heavenly harps. ;) This inspires the devil within!
best
F
You really did use those crazy words seamlessly...I always enjoy a good dream/nightmare story...well done!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. I love the desperation. Great job with the challenge!
ReplyDeleteI too was transfixed! Love your writing. :)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate all of your fantastic comments. This type of writing is difficult for me, so your compliments are touching. This is a fun contest and a great campaign-there are so many wonderful entries. I wish you all good luck. Also, If I haven't made it to your entry yet, don't worry, I will.
ReplyDeleteThis one has the most natural use of the challenge words I've read so far. And it's interesting. Well-played, sir.
ReplyDeleteI forgot I was reading a challenge entry. You really drew me in, so you have a new follower and my vote. I'm # 146, btw.
ReplyDeleteOh, this was absolutely wonderful. Excellent use of the challenge words, and the emotion that you invoked was incredibly strong.
ReplyDeleteInteresting story and the way you used the words, very naturally. Nicely done :)
ReplyDeleteFantastic story, great imagery, a mystery remains. I like that.
ReplyDelete#188
Intriguing piece, wonderfully written. I love how you not only incorporated Rachael's words, but an unfamiliar phrase that I had to Google. ;) Knowing the meaning adds a whole new element to the piece.
ReplyDeleteVery original take on the challenge. I enjoyed it. It was intriguing.
ReplyDelete#189
Hi Jamie, I gave you an award over at my blog: http://cheriecolyer.blogspot.com/2011/10/blog-love-to-share.html
ReplyDeleteGreat entry! I'm wondering if he ever meets the woman in real life and what she was trying to tell him.
ReplyDelete