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Monday, October 3, 2011

What if I Never Try?


I’m usually a positive person. I smile. I wave back to people. I don’t speak ill of anyone. I open doors for strangers. I’m hopeful about what could be when I’m daydreaming. That’s most of the time

Every so often, a little bit of self-doubt creeps into my being and ruins my day. While my intentions are to pursue constructive thoughts, that menacing demon takes over and makes me feel like I’m not good enough. “Everyone else is better than you,” that creature tells me. “You’re wasting your time. Hard work leads only to exhaustion.” The longer the thoughts linger in my mind, the more negative they become. Finally, these two damaging words enter my mind: “Give up.”

I wish I were making this up; I wish this were just a story. Sadly, it isn’t. This happens repeatedly. Over and over, the doubt returns and forces its way into my consciousness. It’s not often, but it doesn’t have to be—once the words enter my mind, the damage is done. I start believing my thoughts and sink into despair…

Fortunately, that’s the point where my inspiration comes to rescue me. “I’m the worst,” I tell myself, “so I need to work harder. If I’m wasting my time, well, at least I’m committed to something. Give up? Never. If I’m worth this much trouble to discourage, then I’m worth equal that in promise.” Like the sunrise after a starless night, my own words rescue me from hopeless abandonment. I start to believe. 

As my spirit lifts and my confidence regains its tread, I remind myself that no one knows what they can achieve unless they try. I’ve had my share of failures. That doesn’t mean I’m worthless. It means that I was willing to try. If I never try, then I’ll never know. And it’s in the unknown where fear resides.

Whatever you seek, whatever you do, please keep working hard at it. There’s satisfaction in the effort, no matter what happens in the end.

7 comments:

  1. I think it was Thomas Edison who said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." I love that quote, and this post illustrates it beautifully. :D

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  2. Who was it who said, "fail harder"? I try not to forget that :-)
    Wonderful post.

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  3. Newby here. Just followed via Twitter. Here's my take: most people never run far enough to get past their first wind. However, those who reach their second wind can tell you that a good things happen after their second wind. Nice post. Keep up the good work:)

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  4. I enjoyed the post a great deal, especially this part: "Give up? Never. If I’m worth this much trouble to discourage, then I’m worth equal that in promise."

    Doubt is like that recurring character you wish would just die and not return, yet, doubt plays it's part, just as night exists for there to be day and darkness exists for their to be light. We often lack something when it comes to us with ease and effort: appreciation. And though doubt is a meany, you are right to combat it with KNOWING, expressing and reaffirming your value...something we should all remember.

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  5. I've been battling an issue tonight, and want to thank you all for your comments. They were both timely and needed. For a while, it looked like I would need to give up writing, until I could afford a replacement computer. I was stressed, angry, and those doubts rushed into my head so fast, I didn't know what had happened. Happily, I can say that there are worse things in life and, no, I don't need to give up writing!

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  6. Thanks for this post. I know I experience ups and downs - doubting myself and then rebounding. I can relate. :)

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  7. You know, giving up is failing too. In fact, if you try and fail at least you tried, that's more than most people ever do. Keep working hard and don't let that monster get to you.

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